She Said It

I think it was Benjamin Franklin who said the difference between the right word and almost the right word was like the difference between lightning and lightning bug.
We were all seated around the supper table: Mother, Daddy, Odell, Eddie, Becky, Jackie and Bobby plus some visiting adults, don’t remember who. Everybody was engaged in eating and conversation when the conversation led to Becky having a missing front tooth at her age. Sister Becky announced “My daddy said if I did not have a tooth by the age of 12 that he was going to buy me some falsies.” Suddenly all talking stopped. I quickly glanced at dad to see his reaction and he was frozen with his mouth open and a forkful of food halfway to it. Everyone else was either staring at the table or looking at Becky. Becky noticed this reaction to something she had just said as she looked up and down the table. She finally figured it out and said “Oh, I mean false teeth.” We slowly regained normalcy but I was laughing and shaking my head in disbelief. I wonder if anyone else remembers that incident.
Once when we were in Florida, Dad, Becky and I were driving along when we passed a grocery store unlike those at home. Becky read the name aloud and said PUBLIX only she pronounced it as you would pubic. Dad just stared straight ahead as I sniggered away. I can’t go by one of their stores today without thinking of that time.
Then there was the time brother Odell asked Becky if she liked frozen pizza and she said “no.” So Odell started telling me how he and his wife would buy a frozen pizza that said heat for 15 minutes but they always heated it for 20 minutes because that made it taste better. Becky interrupted and said “Heat it? you asked me if I liked FROZEN pizza.”
The look on my brother’s face was priceless.

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